Our First Christmas

I already have my Christmas Present. My son being home with me is everything I have ever wanted! I can't believe we have been home for almost seven months now, but then again I can't remember a time without Zach. He lights up my life every day! I was thinking the other day about this time last year was when my Agency confirmed that Zach would definitely not be home for Christmas. I was devastated. But, I am glad he was with people who loved him (still do) very much! His foster family was great. They took such good care of him. I am so thankful for everything they have done. Maybe when Zach gets older we can go back to Guatemala so they can see him. I know it would mean a lot to them and to Zach (and me too).

I would like to wish everyone and your families Happy Holidays! I hope you are surrounded by the people you love.

God Bless You All!

Halloween & Fall Pics

I wanted to share pictures of my little Winnie the Pooh. He had so much fun trick-or-treating! I didn't think he would like the outfit especially since there was a hood on it, but he was so excited when I put it on. Even today if you ask him who Pooh is, he points to himself. When we went to my brother's house, he helped Aunt Lois hand out some candy to a few of the kids. He thought that was great! We didn't go to many houses, but they loaded him up with candy.

The other pictures are from last weekend. My family went to a park nearby to see the trees that have changed in to the beautiful fall colors. Aunt Lois took these pictures. They turned out really good. Thanks Aunt Lois!!

Trip to the Zoo

Zach got to go to the St. Louis Zoo for the first time. It was so much fun! He thought every animal said "Mooo". He seemed to really enjoy it. The day was absolutely beautiful. He also got to ride a carousel for the first time. He smiled the entire time.

Even though I missed the first year of his life, it is awesome to think about all the "firsts" he will be having with me. I know the holidays will be so much better than they have been in a long time. I haven't put a tree up in a couple of years and have not looked forward to Christmas in many years, but this year it will all be different. So much better! I'm actually excited about Christmas morning, not dreading it. He has brought so much meaning to my life. It is amazing how one little person can do that! Out of all the prayers that I have ever had answered, I am so thankful that this one was (not that I'm not thankful for the rest, but this is the one that I have had the longest)!

Good Report from Doctor

I took Zach for his 18 month check-up. She said he is doing great. He has gained 3 pounds and grew 1 1/4 inches since I brought him home. His weight is now in the 50 percentile for his age. She said that is perfect. He is right where he needs to be with talking, running, feeding himself and doing all the things he should be doing! I was just looking at him last night and wondering what I have done to deserve such a wonderful son. I am truly blessed! I hope and pray that I can give him a good life because he deserves the very best!

Here is a poem that I found for my sweet boy!

TO MY SON
As I sit here
I watch you play
Thinking back
to that special day
When I saw your face
for the very first time
Staring into those beautiful brown eyes
That soft brown hair
perfect little nose
Fingers and toes
Watched you grow
Bigger and stronger everyday
I would not have my life
any other way
You were smiling and laughing
crawling now walking
Growing so fast
soon you'll be talking
It makes me happy
just to see you smile
Or to hold you in my arms
for a little while
There will be a day when you're grown
and this baby stuff will be done
But I'll always remember the day
when you became my son

Mommy loves you sweet baby boy!

My Little Movie Star

I thought I would share an adorable picture of my little movie star. He has his own sunglasses but refuses to wear those. We were out watching a friend of ours son play football and Zach decided he needed to wear mommies sunglasses! I am having so much fun with him! The Lord has truly blessed me with the most amazing little guy. He is still doing so well. Happy all the time. I take him next week for a check up with Dr. Kathy. I will update you all on his progress!

My Niece's Wedding

I wanted to show you some pictures from my niece's wedding. She was absolutely beautiful! Everything went well and I gained a great nephew! The picture with Zach awake is with Aunt Gina. Everyone was enjoying holding him and playing with him and of course he loved every minute of it. I was hoping for a dance with him, but he crashed as you can see in the other picture. That's alright, I took him out on the dance floor anyway. He had so much fun he crashed early.

It is so exciting having Zach here so that he can be part of these special memories. We have been home 13 weeks now and it seems like forever. I can't remember a day when he was not here. He is so much fun! He wakes up every morning with a big smile. He has turned in to quite the comedian these days. He will do something to see if he can get a laugh. If it works, he will continue to do it and then do a belly laugh himself. He has adjusted so well. I think from day one he has felt comfortable. All I have to say about that is "Thank you Lord for answered prayer". I am so blessed! When I am at work, I can be having a bad day and someone will ask me how Zach is and they say I just start glowing. Being a mom is just the most wonderful part of my life! I guess now I know what God's plan was for me. So, my advice to everyone is to try and be patient. God does have plans for all of us but they happen in his time, not ours. Trust me I know the waiting is the hardest thing. I waited for over 20 years for this and let me tell you that it is definitely worth it! And the timing is excellent. God knows what is best for us, we just have to believe in him!

Today I kissed an angel.

I knew it from the start.

The first time my angel smiled at me:

I gave away my heart.

Today I kissed an angel;

This angel child of mine

Though not of my creation,

My child by God's design.

Today I kissed an angel.

My heart is dancing wild;

My family, by a miracle;

Blessed by my angel child.

Baptism

Zach's Baptism went so well. I cried most of the way through it. It was just so moving to me. The first picture is of Pastor Michael, myself, Zach, my sister Teri and my brother Jerry (they are Zach's Godparents). The other picture is most of my family. One of the ladies from the church that has an amazing voice sang "I Hope You Dance" for me. During the adoption process when I received good news, that morning on the way in to work I would hear that playing on the radio. So, it became my song for Zach. I am so excited to teach Zach the Bible! He won't sit still long enough for me to read to him yet, but I know it will be a matter of time and he will.

Amazing

Sorry I haven't posted in a while. Going back to work has been exhausting! When I get home, I want to spend every minute I can with my little guy. I have to tell you all that being a mom is so much more amazing than I could have ever imagined. This picture says it all! Zach is doing so well. He wakes up every morning with a big smile on his face. He is definitely a morning person. It is so hard to believe that we have been home for nine weeks tomorrow. I can't remember what my life was like without him. He is definitely my little ray of sunshine. I thank God for him every day. The way he has adjusted has been so wonderful. I know it is answers to many, many prayers (just like he is).

The other day I was looking at the pictures of us from the airport and I realized how much he is growing. He is starting to repeat words now. It's so cute to hear him try to pronounce some of them. I took him to the demo derby at the fair a couple of weeks ago with Uncle Jerry and Aunt Lois. He loved it! We have him raising his arm up and yelling "smash". Of course it comes out "mash" which is so cute. When he gets in trouble, all I have to do is give him "the look" and he stops and puts his head down. Well, the other day that happened and he looked at me and put that tiny arm up and said "mash". Needless to say he knows how to melt my heart. It was so cute.

I am very excited to tell you that Zach is getting Baptized this Sunday. Bringing Zach up in a Christian home is so important to me. I have asked Uncle Jerry and Aunt Teri to be his Godparents. They are so excited! I will post pictures next week.

I guess that is all for now. I will try not to let so much time go by between posts. Blessings to everyone!

Made it through the first week of work

Well, I made it through the first week. It wasn't the best week I have ever had but I expected that. The first day Zach would not even look at me when I got home. I was devastated. I never gave it a thought that he would be mad at me. The second day was a little better and the third day he was happy to see me. It was so hard to leave him each day. I would say that it will get better, but after talking to other parents I know it won't. Saturday when I went in his room after he woke up, he had a huge grin on his face and he said "mom, mom, mom". So, I think he was excited to see me. He is doing so well. He is picking up words left and right. He makes the cutest faces. I will have to get pictures of them and post them here. Saturday he got his first haircut with Aunt Lois. He was so good for her.

Well, I guess that is all for now. I am starting another week at work. Nothing against my job, but I wish I didn't have to work. Talk to you soon!

I'm Very Sad Tonight!

See this sweet little face, I have to leave it tomorrow and go back to work. I don't know how I am going to do it. I held him for an hour tonight while he slept and just looked at him and cried. The past five weeks have gone by way to fast. I know I am just being a big baby and everyone has had to go through this, but I can't help it. I finally got my dream and now I have to go to work (so that little dream can eat and live). I know he will have loads of fun with Grandma though! Grandma might get tired of me calling and saying "what's he doing now?" I'm sure she won't mind. We are just going to have to make the most out of the evenings and weekends. And then there's the holidays to look forward to! :)

I love you my sweet little sunshine! Mommy will be home after 4 each day to play!

First Family Photo

We had our first family photos taken. I think they turned out pretty good even though Zach didn't want to cooperate. There is nothing better than seeing that little grin on my little mans face.

He still seems so content and happy here. That's just awesome. He has been really sick this week though. Today was the first day he was a little like himself and didn't have a fever. I even had him giggling! It's so hard when a little one is sick and can't tell you what is wrong. But I am very happy he is getting better.

Thanks for letting me share and checking our blog!

Good Medical News

Zach's doctor's office called today. All the blood work, chest x-rays and other tests that they ran all came back normal. Praise the Lord everything is great with him! The other good news is that he slept 11 hours last night and momma finally got some sleep!! It doesn't sound like big news to some, but those of you that have little ones, it is HUGE news!! Thanks for all your prayers and well wishes!!

A Poem I found...

Before I was a Mom


Before I was a Mom
I slept as late as I wanted and never worried about how late I got into bed.
I brushed my hair and my teeth everyday.
Before I was a MomI cleaned my house each day.
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.
Before I was a Mom
I had never been puked on. Pooped on. Spit on. Chewed on Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts.
I slept all night..

Before I was a Mom
I never held down a screaming child so that doctors could do tests. Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put it down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much before I was a Mom.

Doctor's Appointment

Here are a couple pictures of Zach in his new pool. He loves it! I think he would still be in it several hours later if I would let him.

I took him to the doctor today. She said he seems to be doing very well. He weighs 21 pounds and is 30 inches tall. He is in the twenty five percentile, but proportioned right. She listened closely to his heart and said that she did not hear a heart murmur at all! Praise the Lord for that!! He got a couple of shots and then they had me hold him down while they took a tube of blood. That was aweful. He was crying and looking right in to my eyes. It broke my heart. They are going to run a bunch of tests to make sure everything is OK with him. We go for a chest x-ray tomorrow morning. Dr. Karen was wonderful! She said he looks good and is right where he needs to be as far as learning, eating, etc. I am so happy and relieved that the appointment is over and went well. They will call me with the other results.

I am truly blessed!

Home for over a week!

Well, we have been home for over a week and it is wonderful! Everyone keeps asking if it is everything I imagined. My answer to that is "everything and more". Even though I am not getting much sleep, I am still enjoying it. Zach has so much personality! Most days when he wakes up he is smiling and will giggle easily. He is right beside me now trying to help me type. I do have to brag on him. This past weekend he started saying "thank you". I have a polite son!! He is always trying to give someone a toy or his bottle and we always say thank you. I guess he picked it up. He is still yelling momma when I am in the other room (of course I still love that). I waited so long to hear that. Everyone says eventually I will wish he didn't say it, but for now I am loving it!! Zach goes to the doctor Monday for his first visit. They will do several tests on him to make sure everything is OK. I can't imagine anything being wrong. He looks great, is happy and has a healthy appetite.

Well, Zach wants to play so I will go for now. I will type more later.

HOME!!

Here are a couple of pictures from the airport when we arrived in St. Louis. There were at least 30 people there waiting to meet Zach! It was amazing (especially since it was after 10:00 p.m.). Zach did so good on the flight home. He is such a good boy. We have been home two days now and it is just wonderful. He is already calling me momma. That actually started before we left Guatemala. His foster mom showed him my picture and talked about me to him so I think that helped. I can't even begin to tell you how I felt the first time he said it. I felt as though my heart was going to explode with happiness. I have been waiting a lifetime to hear those words come out of a little one. I still feel like I am dreaming!

He is adjusting well to his new home and family. My family has been over helping and playing with Zach and he is loving it! His buddy is Uncle Jerry. They bonded so much on the trip.

I have been trying to find the words to express how thankful I am to my family and friends for helping me throughout this long process. You have all been there for me rather it was good news or bad news with always something positive to say to help me through it. You are all amazing and I am truly blessed to have you in my life! Zach will know that he has this big extended family that will be there for us no matter what! I thank the good Lord that he has brought you all in to my life. I do want to give a big thank you to Pastor Michael and Rose because they are the ones who helped me down the path of adoption and to my wonderful adoption agency. Not only that, they have become my great friends.

Tomorrow is the big day that Zach gets to meet all of his church family! They have prayed for him for so long and now they get to see him. I am excited about that! I only wish Pastor Michael and Rose were going to be there.

Last Day In Guatemala

Today was our last day in Guatemala. It went very well. Zach is such a great baby! We went to the Embassy and picked up his Visa and passport. So, there's no turning back for him (lol). We just hung out today and shopped a little. When we came to our room this afternoon there was a bag with my name on it sitting on the bed. It was from Zach's foster mom, Veronica. She sent me and Jerry each a gift, some Guatemalan candy and a couple of Zach's toys that he likes along with his toothbrush. She also had her husband call me tonight (he speaks English). She wanted to say goodbye to me and to Zach. She asked at first if she could come say goodbye in the morning, then she decided it would be too hard for both of them. She did have him ask for my e-mail address so that she can keep in touch to see how Zach is doing. I promised to e-mail her pictures. She tried to apologize for bothering me, but I told her she is not a bother. I know that she loves Zach very much. She raised him for the past year (and did a great job). My heart goes out to her! It takes a very special person to be a foster parent.

Well, I guess that is all from Guatemala. The next post you see will be from the U.S. Love you all. See some of you tomorrow night at the airport!


"When they placed you in my arms and I looked into your face, I felt our hearts melt into one ~ a miracle took place. My prayer was finally answered, though delayed, 'twas not denied ~ the pain of love unanswered, in a moment's time subsides. God's plan seemed hard to understand. The circle's now complete. He placed the heavens in my arms, so precious and so sweet. Though you grew within another, my soul and yours were one. We united in God's loving heart before life had begun. I received a priceless treasure ~ this adopted child I love... a gift of joy and happiness to me from God above."

Embassy Day

Here's a couple pictures by the pool! Today was a good day. Zach slept fairly well last night. Only woke up a couple of times and didn't really fuss much. We had a quick breakfast because we had to be at the Embassy so early. Zach ate scrambled eggs and loved them. The Embassy went well. It reminded me of a DMV. They asked three questions. Then I had to go out and wait. Then I got called to the window to swear that I answered truthfully and they wanted to know if I plan on changing Zach's name (which his name is Anibal right now and will be his middle name when I change it to Zach). We were back at the hotel by 9:30 or so. We got Uncle Jerry and we walked down to a little grocery store and bought some Gerber baby food. He loves that too! Then we came back and chilled at the pool. Zach loves being outside. He enjoyed himself so much he took a 1 1/2 to 2 hour nap at the pool. The waiter couldn't believe how long he slept. We came back up to the room and played with toys the rest of the evening. I gave him a bath and he is sleeping soundly.

While I was sitting at the Embassy I could not help looking at Zach and crying and thanking the Lord for the most beautiful little blessing! I prayed so hard for so many years for this. I keep pinching myself to make sure that I am not dreaming. Veronica, Zach's foster mom said that he is lucky to have a family who will love him lots. I told her that I think that I am the lucky one.

Please continue to pray for all the children here in Guatemala. Pray for the families that are in PGN. Pray that something is done right away so that the cases can start moving again. It is sad for the families, but really sad for the children who need to be with them. Please say an extra prayer for my friend Tonya, Bella's Mom. She needs to bring Bella home soon!

Can't wait to get home so that you can all see Zach in person! You will fall in love just like I did. Uncle Jerry says he is going to miss seeing him every day when we get home! I think the two of them had so much fun playing tonight. Well, I think I am going to bed. Big day tomorrow. I get to pick up Zach's Visa and Passport. Then maybe a little shopping and of course time around the pool (which we are going to miss tremendously). Love you all!

I FINALLY MET MY SON TODAY!!

Today has been amazing! Definitely a dream come true! The minute I laid eyes on him, I fell in love. My friend Travis told me about how much he loves his son and said the minute I lay eyes on Zach I will know what he means. Well, I definitely do! It is the most amazing feeling I have ever felt! I felt so bad for Zach's foster mom. She had such a hard time. She has had him since he was 1 1/2 months old. She is amazing though! I tried to express my appreciation to her for the way she has cared for Zach, but I could not find the words to express just how thankful I am.

The night started out great. He went right to me and then didn't want me to let him down. He went to Uncle Jerry too. As it got a little later he was not so happy. I felt so bad for him and didn't know what to do to soothe him. He does not like to sit still so you have to hold him standing up. So, I stood up, gave him a bottle, rocked him and sang to him. That seemed to work after a while because he is sound asleep. We have an early morning at the Embassy for his VISA so I will get off here. I will write more later. Thanks again to everyone for your support!

THE CHOSEN HEART
Longing for a child to love,

I'd wish upon the stars above.

In my heart I always knew,

A part of me was meant for you.

I think how happy we will be,

Once I adopt you, and you adopt me.

I dream of all the joy you'll bring,

Imagining even the littlest things.

The way it will feel to hold you tight,

And tuck you in every night.

The drawings on the refrigerator door,

And childhood toys across the floor,

The favorite stories read again and again,

And hours of games with make-believe friends.
The day you took my outstretched hand,

A journey ended, but our lives began.

Still mesmerized by your sweet face,

Still warmed inside by our first embrace.

I promised to give you a happy home,

And a loving family all your own.

A house you've now made complete,

With laughter, smiles and tiny feet.

A parent is one who guides the way,

Know I will be there everyday.

Rest easy as each night you sleep,

A lifetime of love is yours to keep.

Longing for a child to love,

I'd wish upon the stars above.

In my heart I always knew,

A part of me belonged to you.

PINK PINK PINK!!!

I AM FINALLY PINK!!! I can hardly believe it!!! My Embassy appointment is Tuesday, May 20th at 7:15 a.m. and I am 12th in line! I will fly in on Monday and they will bring Zach to me between 3:00 p.m. and 5:00 p.m. My head is just swimming right now! Thank you all so much for all your prayers and support! I will write more later when I come down out of the clouds (I doubt that happens)!

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to all the Moms that read this post. I wish Zach was here with me to spend the day, but I know he is coming very soon and that is so exciting!!

Today I can't help but be a little sad though. I truly miss the four babies that I lost. I think of them every day but especially on Mother's Day. I made a Memorial Bench in my front yard with four angels on it. I talk to them all the time, but on Mother's Day before church I always go out and sit and talk to them. It may seem a little crazy to some people, but it is what has gotten me through the years. Today I will tell them about how their little brother will be home soon.

My true Mother's Day is coming very soon. It will be the day they place Zach in my arms forever! I get goosebumps just thinking about it! I am so glad that God has lead me down this path. Everything seems to be happening at the right time in my life. Some people say that things start going down hill at 40 but in my case, it is the best time of my life! My son is coming home, I have the most amazing people in my life and more than anything I have the most amazing God who is always there to listen no matter what I have to say.

DNA at Embassy

Zach's DNA arrived at the Embassy yesterday afternoon! I should get my Pink today or Monday. So, it is wee hours of the morning and I can't sleep (imagine that). I think my brain is on overdrive! I just keep thinking "maybe this time next week I will be in Guatemala picking Zach up". I layed here thinking about what all I still need to do (which really isn't as much as it feels like). Then I got up and made a Wal-Mart list and then I started cleaning. Hopefully sometime before I leave I will actually get a good nights sleep (I'm not holding my breath on that one). Thank you everyone for all your prayers! After over 16 months in this process my dream is finally coming true!

DNA Left the Lab

Exciting news! DNA matched and is on it's way to the Embassy! I received a FedEx tracking number so I can track when it reaches the Embassy in Guatemala. It is scheduled to be delivered tomorrow by 6:00 p.m. So, this time next week I should be "PINK" which means I will get my appointment date and time to be at the Embassy for the VISA appointment. Wow, I might be picking Zach up in two weeks!!! I can't believe it! You all will be meeting my son soon. Actually I will be meeting my son soon!!!! WOW!!! I really should find a different word than WOW, but that is all that is coming to mind right now. What a great Mother's Day this will be. The only thing that would make it better is if Zach were actually here, but knowing that he will be shortly after Mother's Day is good too. I will post more when I get any news!

IT IS GETTNG SO CLOSE AND I AM SO EXCITED!!

Well, it's about three to four weeks before I go pick up my little guy! I can't explain to you how excited I am. I have waited for so many years for this! This process has been so very long that it is hard to believe that it is finally coming down to the end of it and that I will be bringing Zach home soon. Everyone keeps telling me how lucky he is and my response is that I am the lucky one!

I look back over the past 20 years and think about all the bad stuff that I have been through and wonder how I made it. But I realize it was by the grace of God that I did. And it is because of him that I was led down the path to this adoption. There isn't a day that goes by that I do not thank him for all that he has done in my life (not just the adoption, so much more). I feel truly blessed to have the most wonderful people in my life with my family and friends. I can hardly wait for Zach to meet each and every one of you!

Someone is Waiting

Somewhere, someone is waiting
Though I can't see your face I know your heart
'Cause God has knit us together
Even though we're far apart
And until you can be here safe in my arms
I will trust
That somewhere, someone is holding you close
And keeping you warm.
My thoughts, my prayers are for you
Father, love him, protect him I know you do
And until that perfect timing
When our hearts and eyes will meet
I will rest knowing that You are there
I will trust
That somewhere, someone is holding you close
And keeping you warm.
If time could stand still
Our love would bridge the ocean
But know that until then
That even an ocean, can't keep me from you
Hold on, little one, hold on...
And until you can be here safe in my arms
I will trust
That somewhere, someone is holding you close
And keeping you warm.

DNA Authorization

I just got a call from my agency and said they are sending my Lab Corp authorization for DNA out! He said it should take about 10 days. Yet another step closer to Zach! I am so excited! Momma's coming baby!!!

Passport

I received a copy of Zach's passport today! I am so excited! I am one step closer to getting my sweet baby boy! My agency said they should do 2nd DNA either today or Monday (they don't do much on Fridays). Once DNA is back, I will receive a Pink Slip (not the bad kind like at work, the good kind) with my Embassy appointment for Zach's VISA. And that is when I get to go get him. I have so many feelings going on right now. I am excited because it is finally happening and I am nervous because it is finally happening. I guess I am going through what every expecting mother goes through right before she gives birth. Wondering if I will be a good mom, if I will know what to do, will he like me and want to come to me. I just can't wait to get him in my arms and never let go! Thank you so much to each and every one of my friends and family for all the support and prayer that you have given me and Zach and for the continued support and prayer. It is because of all of you that I have made it through this long process so far. God is definitely good!! He lead me to Zach and I can hardly wait to teach Zach all about him!

Well, that's all for now. I will post when I get more news!

Picture Day!

It's one of my favorite days! Picture day! I love seeing how happy and heathy he looks!! The outfit he is wearing is one I sent him for his Birthday. Aunt Lois bought it for him. He is 13 1/2 months old, weighs 21 1/2 pounds and is 29 1/2 inches long. My little boy is getting so big! The exciting part is that maybe this time next month I will be there getting him (hopefully sooner). Then I will have some even more exciting pictures to post! I am getting so anxious, but extremely nervous. I am nervous about the trip there and also about how he will do with me. I hope he takes to me right away. Being a MOM is all I have ever wanted to do!

Waiting

I haven't met you yet or seen your face,

but in my heart you hold a place.

My hopes grow with each passing day,

even though you're miles away.

I know you're there waiting for me,

as I am here waiting to see,

the child God has sent from above,

to make me a mother and share all my love.

Birth Certificate

I received on of the most amazing e-mails I have ever received. It was a copy of Zach's Birth Certificate. I have to say that I was full of joy and excitement. It was the most wonderful site to see my son's name with my last name! It is becoming more and more of a reality every day. I can not believe that I am actually going to be bringing my son home soon! I can hardly wait! I am so grateful to my family and friends who pray for me and Zach every day! I am definitely getting answered prayer! I have known since the beginning of this process that God has had a baby boy that was meant for me and of course when I seen the picture of Zach I knew immediately that he was the one. Soon I will be meeting him and bringing him home to meet all of his extended family. How exciting is that!!!

Half A World Away

A half a world away
Sometimes it seems we're so far apart
But a half a world away
Is not too far for a journey of the heart
My little one, my bundle of joy
I'm waiting for you
My precious son, my baby boy
I know you're waiting too
A half a world away
A child waits for a family of his own
While a half a world away
A family waits to come bring him home
My little one, my bundle of joy
I'm whispering a prayer
My precious son, my baby boy
I hope to soon be there
I hope that we
will no longer be
a half a world away.

GREAT NEWS!!!

I know I already posted this picture of Zach, but it goes with my good news!! I got out of PGN today and Zach is clapping for that. My agency says that I should be picking him up and bringing him home in 6 to 8 weeks! I am on Cloud 9!! I can't even begin to explain all the emotions that are going on inside me right now! Thank God for answered prayers. "I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him" 1Samuel 1:27

The Gift of Life

I didn't give you the gift of life,

But in my heart I know.

The love I feel is deep and real,

As if it had been so.

For us to have each other

Is like a dream come true!

No, I didn't give you The gift of life,

Life gave me the gift of you.

Poem for my sweet baby boy

I came across this poem tonight and thought of Zach.

KISSES IN THE WIND
I hold you in my heart and touch you in my dreams.
You are here each day with me, at least that's how it seems.
I know you wonder where we are... what's taking us so long.
But remember child, I love you so and God will keep you strong.
Now go outside and feel the breeze and let it touch your skin...
Because tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.
May God hold you in His hand until I can be with you.
I promise you, my darling, I'm doing all that I can do.
Very soon, you'll have a family for real, not just pretend.
But for tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.
May God wrap you in His arms and hold you very tight.
And let the angels bring the kisses that I send to you each night.

More of My Story

First I wanted to share my favorite picture of Zach with you. This picture makes me want to reach in and pick him up.

I wanted to tell you how I made the decision to adopt and where Zach's name came from. For several years I tried to adopt from the U.S. but did not have any luck because I am single. After lots of frustration and being upset all the time I started looking in to International Adoption and was drawn to Guatemala. I went to talk with my friends Pastor Michael and Rose. Rose told me about an agency that she use to work for in Kentucky that did International Adoptions. I was so excited that I went home and printed out the application from that agency. Over the next few days I filled out the application and prayed over it making sure I was making the right decision. One night I had a dream that I went to pick up my child. When I arrived home there were several friends and family at the airport to greet us. I introduced everyone to my son Zachary. I knew the next morning that this was exactly what I was suppose to do. After my application was accepted I went through a phone orientation. I was asked if I wanted a boy or girl. I told them it didn't matter. They told me that I would get a boy then. Right then I knew for sure that the path I am going down is exactly where I am suppose to be. It has not been an easy road so far, but I think we appreciate things a lot more if they don't come easy for us. Plus the reward at the end is worth every bump and hill. I have the best support system with family and friends. They are my strength to get through every day until the day I get to pick up my little guy and I am so very thankful for each and every one of them. Zach is so loved by each and every one of them already and they have not even met him yet.

Meet Zach

I have always wanted to be a mom. 15 months ago I started the process of adopting a beautiful baby boy from Guatemala. I started the adoptoion process in December 2006. May 2, 2007 I received a referral for Zachary who was two months old at that time. The minute I layed eyes on the picture of him, I knew he was my son. There has been many ups and downs, but it will all be worth it in the end. I am currently in PGN waiting for the final approval. I think the waiting is the hardest part. In the beginning there was always something that needed to be filled out, notarized, authenticated mailed, etc. but now all there is to do is wait and pray that Zach will be home soon.