HOME!!

Here are a couple of pictures from the airport when we arrived in St. Louis. There were at least 30 people there waiting to meet Zach! It was amazing (especially since it was after 10:00 p.m.). Zach did so good on the flight home. He is such a good boy. We have been home two days now and it is just wonderful. He is already calling me momma. That actually started before we left Guatemala. His foster mom showed him my picture and talked about me to him so I think that helped. I can't even begin to tell you how I felt the first time he said it. I felt as though my heart was going to explode with happiness. I have been waiting a lifetime to hear those words come out of a little one. I still feel like I am dreaming!

He is adjusting well to his new home and family. My family has been over helping and playing with Zach and he is loving it! His buddy is Uncle Jerry. They bonded so much on the trip.

I have been trying to find the words to express how thankful I am to my family and friends for helping me throughout this long process. You have all been there for me rather it was good news or bad news with always something positive to say to help me through it. You are all amazing and I am truly blessed to have you in my life! Zach will know that he has this big extended family that will be there for us no matter what! I thank the good Lord that he has brought you all in to my life. I do want to give a big thank you to Pastor Michael and Rose because they are the ones who helped me down the path of adoption and to my wonderful adoption agency. Not only that, they have become my great friends.

Tomorrow is the big day that Zach gets to meet all of his church family! They have prayed for him for so long and now they get to see him. I am excited about that! I only wish Pastor Michael and Rose were going to be there.

Last Day In Guatemala

Today was our last day in Guatemala. It went very well. Zach is such a great baby! We went to the Embassy and picked up his Visa and passport. So, there's no turning back for him (lol). We just hung out today and shopped a little. When we came to our room this afternoon there was a bag with my name on it sitting on the bed. It was from Zach's foster mom, Veronica. She sent me and Jerry each a gift, some Guatemalan candy and a couple of Zach's toys that he likes along with his toothbrush. She also had her husband call me tonight (he speaks English). She wanted to say goodbye to me and to Zach. She asked at first if she could come say goodbye in the morning, then she decided it would be too hard for both of them. She did have him ask for my e-mail address so that she can keep in touch to see how Zach is doing. I promised to e-mail her pictures. She tried to apologize for bothering me, but I told her she is not a bother. I know that she loves Zach very much. She raised him for the past year (and did a great job). My heart goes out to her! It takes a very special person to be a foster parent.

Well, I guess that is all from Guatemala. The next post you see will be from the U.S. Love you all. See some of you tomorrow night at the airport!


"When they placed you in my arms and I looked into your face, I felt our hearts melt into one ~ a miracle took place. My prayer was finally answered, though delayed, 'twas not denied ~ the pain of love unanswered, in a moment's time subsides. God's plan seemed hard to understand. The circle's now complete. He placed the heavens in my arms, so precious and so sweet. Though you grew within another, my soul and yours were one. We united in God's loving heart before life had begun. I received a priceless treasure ~ this adopted child I love... a gift of joy and happiness to me from God above."

Embassy Day

Here's a couple pictures by the pool! Today was a good day. Zach slept fairly well last night. Only woke up a couple of times and didn't really fuss much. We had a quick breakfast because we had to be at the Embassy so early. Zach ate scrambled eggs and loved them. The Embassy went well. It reminded me of a DMV. They asked three questions. Then I had to go out and wait. Then I got called to the window to swear that I answered truthfully and they wanted to know if I plan on changing Zach's name (which his name is Anibal right now and will be his middle name when I change it to Zach). We were back at the hotel by 9:30 or so. We got Uncle Jerry and we walked down to a little grocery store and bought some Gerber baby food. He loves that too! Then we came back and chilled at the pool. Zach loves being outside. He enjoyed himself so much he took a 1 1/2 to 2 hour nap at the pool. The waiter couldn't believe how long he slept. We came back up to the room and played with toys the rest of the evening. I gave him a bath and he is sleeping soundly.

While I was sitting at the Embassy I could not help looking at Zach and crying and thanking the Lord for the most beautiful little blessing! I prayed so hard for so many years for this. I keep pinching myself to make sure that I am not dreaming. Veronica, Zach's foster mom said that he is lucky to have a family who will love him lots. I told her that I think that I am the lucky one.

Please continue to pray for all the children here in Guatemala. Pray for the families that are in PGN. Pray that something is done right away so that the cases can start moving again. It is sad for the families, but really sad for the children who need to be with them. Please say an extra prayer for my friend Tonya, Bella's Mom. She needs to bring Bella home soon!

Can't wait to get home so that you can all see Zach in person! You will fall in love just like I did. Uncle Jerry says he is going to miss seeing him every day when we get home! I think the two of them had so much fun playing tonight. Well, I think I am going to bed. Big day tomorrow. I get to pick up Zach's Visa and Passport. Then maybe a little shopping and of course time around the pool (which we are going to miss tremendously). Love you all!

I FINALLY MET MY SON TODAY!!

Today has been amazing! Definitely a dream come true! The minute I laid eyes on him, I fell in love. My friend Travis told me about how much he loves his son and said the minute I lay eyes on Zach I will know what he means. Well, I definitely do! It is the most amazing feeling I have ever felt! I felt so bad for Zach's foster mom. She had such a hard time. She has had him since he was 1 1/2 months old. She is amazing though! I tried to express my appreciation to her for the way she has cared for Zach, but I could not find the words to express just how thankful I am.

The night started out great. He went right to me and then didn't want me to let him down. He went to Uncle Jerry too. As it got a little later he was not so happy. I felt so bad for him and didn't know what to do to soothe him. He does not like to sit still so you have to hold him standing up. So, I stood up, gave him a bottle, rocked him and sang to him. That seemed to work after a while because he is sound asleep. We have an early morning at the Embassy for his VISA so I will get off here. I will write more later. Thanks again to everyone for your support!

THE CHOSEN HEART
Longing for a child to love,

I'd wish upon the stars above.

In my heart I always knew,

A part of me was meant for you.

I think how happy we will be,

Once I adopt you, and you adopt me.

I dream of all the joy you'll bring,

Imagining even the littlest things.

The way it will feel to hold you tight,

And tuck you in every night.

The drawings on the refrigerator door,

And childhood toys across the floor,

The favorite stories read again and again,

And hours of games with make-believe friends.
The day you took my outstretched hand,

A journey ended, but our lives began.

Still mesmerized by your sweet face,

Still warmed inside by our first embrace.

I promised to give you a happy home,

And a loving family all your own.

A house you've now made complete,

With laughter, smiles and tiny feet.

A parent is one who guides the way,

Know I will be there everyday.

Rest easy as each night you sleep,

A lifetime of love is yours to keep.

Longing for a child to love,

I'd wish upon the stars above.

In my heart I always knew,

A part of me belonged to you.

PINK PINK PINK!!!

I AM FINALLY PINK!!! I can hardly believe it!!! My Embassy appointment is Tuesday, May 20th at 7:15 a.m. and I am 12th in line! I will fly in on Monday and they will bring Zach to me between 3:00 p.m. and 5:00 p.m. My head is just swimming right now! Thank you all so much for all your prayers and support! I will write more later when I come down out of the clouds (I doubt that happens)!

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to all the Moms that read this post. I wish Zach was here with me to spend the day, but I know he is coming very soon and that is so exciting!!

Today I can't help but be a little sad though. I truly miss the four babies that I lost. I think of them every day but especially on Mother's Day. I made a Memorial Bench in my front yard with four angels on it. I talk to them all the time, but on Mother's Day before church I always go out and sit and talk to them. It may seem a little crazy to some people, but it is what has gotten me through the years. Today I will tell them about how their little brother will be home soon.

My true Mother's Day is coming very soon. It will be the day they place Zach in my arms forever! I get goosebumps just thinking about it! I am so glad that God has lead me down this path. Everything seems to be happening at the right time in my life. Some people say that things start going down hill at 40 but in my case, it is the best time of my life! My son is coming home, I have the most amazing people in my life and more than anything I have the most amazing God who is always there to listen no matter what I have to say.

DNA at Embassy

Zach's DNA arrived at the Embassy yesterday afternoon! I should get my Pink today or Monday. So, it is wee hours of the morning and I can't sleep (imagine that). I think my brain is on overdrive! I just keep thinking "maybe this time next week I will be in Guatemala picking Zach up". I layed here thinking about what all I still need to do (which really isn't as much as it feels like). Then I got up and made a Wal-Mart list and then I started cleaning. Hopefully sometime before I leave I will actually get a good nights sleep (I'm not holding my breath on that one). Thank you everyone for all your prayers! After over 16 months in this process my dream is finally coming true!

DNA Left the Lab

Exciting news! DNA matched and is on it's way to the Embassy! I received a FedEx tracking number so I can track when it reaches the Embassy in Guatemala. It is scheduled to be delivered tomorrow by 6:00 p.m. So, this time next week I should be "PINK" which means I will get my appointment date and time to be at the Embassy for the VISA appointment. Wow, I might be picking Zach up in two weeks!!! I can't believe it! You all will be meeting my son soon. Actually I will be meeting my son soon!!!! WOW!!! I really should find a different word than WOW, but that is all that is coming to mind right now. What a great Mother's Day this will be. The only thing that would make it better is if Zach were actually here, but knowing that he will be shortly after Mother's Day is good too. I will post more when I get any news!

IT IS GETTNG SO CLOSE AND I AM SO EXCITED!!

Well, it's about three to four weeks before I go pick up my little guy! I can't explain to you how excited I am. I have waited for so many years for this! This process has been so very long that it is hard to believe that it is finally coming down to the end of it and that I will be bringing Zach home soon. Everyone keeps telling me how lucky he is and my response is that I am the lucky one!

I look back over the past 20 years and think about all the bad stuff that I have been through and wonder how I made it. But I realize it was by the grace of God that I did. And it is because of him that I was led down the path to this adoption. There isn't a day that goes by that I do not thank him for all that he has done in my life (not just the adoption, so much more). I feel truly blessed to have the most wonderful people in my life with my family and friends. I can hardly wait for Zach to meet each and every one of you!

Someone is Waiting

Somewhere, someone is waiting
Though I can't see your face I know your heart
'Cause God has knit us together
Even though we're far apart
And until you can be here safe in my arms
I will trust
That somewhere, someone is holding you close
And keeping you warm.
My thoughts, my prayers are for you
Father, love him, protect him I know you do
And until that perfect timing
When our hearts and eyes will meet
I will rest knowing that You are there
I will trust
That somewhere, someone is holding you close
And keeping you warm.
If time could stand still
Our love would bridge the ocean
But know that until then
That even an ocean, can't keep me from you
Hold on, little one, hold on...
And until you can be here safe in my arms
I will trust
That somewhere, someone is holding you close
And keeping you warm.